A Stake to the Heart of Dark Shadows Fandom

Dan Curtis is spinning in his grave.

That was my first thought as I watched the abysmal trailer for Tim Burton and Johnny Depp’s Dark Shadows.

I’m sure by now you’ve seen it. If not, you’ll have to find it for yourself. I can’t bring myself to post a link.

Dan Curtis’ influence on me as a young boy in rural Indiana was monumental. Besides the brilliant Dark Shadows, there was Kolchak: The Night Stalker, The Norliss Tapes, Dracula (starring Jack Palance), Trilogy of Terror, Burnt Offerings, Scream of the Wolf… the list is virtually endless. A consummate storyteller and visionary, Curtis’ vision fueled my imagination. To see his best known property disrespected in such a way pains my soul. And with the knowledge that Depp is also slated to don Carl Kolchak’s pie-hat in a forthcoming big screen adaptation of The Night Stalker, I fear for Curtis’ legacy.

I have no qualms with a parody of my beloved Dark Shadows being given life, in and of itself. I’m reminded of the classic Saturday Night Live skit that tackled Star Trek in a similar vein. Had Dark Shadows been equally poked at in a comparative venue, I would have laughed and enjoyed the comic turn, but to see this farcical adaptation come to the big screen, played out over two hours or so seems cruel and pointless. Will this big budget abortion lead new fans to the classic soap, or to the thoroughly enjoyable revival from the early 90’s? Will they clamor to read the tie-in novels or comic books, or listen to the excellent audio dramas produced by Big Finish? I think not.

Dark Shadows has a devoted fan base. This film had the potential to see that fan base grow, to breathe new life into Dan Curtis’ masterpiece of Gothic Romance. Instead we are given a disrespectful, comical farce… an ill-conceived dark comedy of errors that spits in the face of a franchise I truly and passionately care for.

Bad form, Tim Burton.

Dark Shadows: Revamped

Johnny Depp = Carl Kolchak?

Kolchak, the Night Stalker, beloved by yours truly for something akin to 40 years, is about to get to prove whether or not a third time’s a charm.  Johnny Depp, Edgar Wright, and Walt Disney will be bringing the adventures of reporter Carl Kolchak to the big screen. Expect a family-friendly PG-13 affair.

Now, don’t get me wrong… I like Depp. But Kolchak? I haven’t been this nervous since Tom Cruise assumed the mantle of Lestat. Depp has been one of my favorite actors — Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow, The Ninth Gate, From Hell, etc — and I admire his work ethic and what he brings to the table. Can he pull off Kolchak, the somewhat frumpy everyman with a rapier whit and roguish charm, in the style of the late, great Darren McGavin, or are we going to get Nu’Kolchak ala Stewart Townsend’s failed take on the small screen a few years back?

If it were me, I’d tap a different sort of cat to fill Carl’s pie hat and set up Depp as the baddie in the picture. My preference for the role of the former-ace reporter would be — (cue the obligatory drum roll please) — William H. Macy. He’s got the look and the acting chops to pull off a better than decent McGavin impression. And really, that’s what I want here. I want McGavin. Not a new and different take. McGavin nailed Carl to a T. I want the hat. The suit. The old-school camera.

I’m more than willing to see what Johnny does with the role. Believe me, I’ll be the first one in line regardless of what happens. But preferences being what they are, you’ve read my two cents on the matter.

Dark Shadows rises from the grave once more

Word on the street has production on the Tim Burton-Johny Depp-Seth Grahame-Smith revival of Dark Shadows to begin in February, with a 2012 release date.

My excitement is a double edged sword.

On one hand, Burton is very hit-and-miss with me — Hated Batman. Loved Sleepy Hollow. Hated Planet of the Apes. Loved Ed Wood. Hated Alice in Wonderland. Loved Edward Scissorhands. You get the idea…

On the other, Johnny Depp never disappoints, even when the movies are less than stellar his performances shine.

Dark Shadows is near and dear to my heart. I understand the same is true for Burton and Depp. Well, if they produce something half as cool as the clip below then I’ll be a happy little Occult Detective.

Dark Shadows

The latest news concerning the big screen adaptation of Dark Shadows is that Pride, Prejudice, & Zombies scribe Seth Grahame-Smith has been tapped to write the screenplay for the Johnny Depp / Tim Burton revival of the gothic soap opera.

I’ve not read Grahame-Smith’s work, which also includes Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, but he has moved a fair number of books and is the literary flavor of the month. I know Burton is quite taken by him and that, in and of itself, bodes well for the project.

I was enthralled by Dark Shadows as a child and raced home to watch the soap every day after school. With over-the-top tales of vampires, ghosts, witches, werewolves, time-travel, and parallel universes, Dark Shadows was like nothing else on television.

Two movies followed, the classic House of Dark Shadows and the less successful Night of Dark Shadows, and an early 90s television revival, starring Ben Cross and Barbara Steele, was a critical disaster and canceled after only twelve episodes. Unfortunate, because I loved every minute of it.

Of late, my Dark Shadows fix has been satiated by author Stephen Mark Rainey‘s wonderful audio dramas The Path of Fate, The Curse of the Pharaoh, and Blood Dance (all from Big Finish). Rainey also co-wrote the Dark Shadows novel Dreams of the Dark with Elizabeth Massie.

And now we have Johnny Depp all set to don the cape of Barnabas Collins and stride onto the Tim Burton helmed set, the tap of his wolfhead cane echoing through the fog-filled streets of Collinsport.

To say that I have great expectations is an understatement. If anyone can pull this off, it’s Depp and Burton. And with production beginning in January we may not have long to wait. My only question is, will Helena Bohnam Carter be playing the she-devil Angelique or the aging Dr. Hoffman?

And now, before I leave you, can I invest in a wee bit of fanciful dream casting? Is there any chance that the part of Victoria Winters/Josette Dupre might fall on Ellen Page? Could someone please make that happen? Why do I have this nagging feeling that we’ll end up with Natalie Portman, Emily Blunt,  or Keira Knightly instead?