Archive for LOST Theories

LOST in Translation: Penultimate

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , , , on May 19, 2010 by cairnwood

Season 6 / Episode 16
“What They Died For”
written by Kitsis, Horowitz, & Sarnoff
directed by Paul Edwards

I have to keep reminding myself that this is not my story. It’s the bane of being a writer I suppose, but I have caught myself in these last few weeks being over-critical of LOST. The producers have been quite clear that they are “telling the story they want to tell”. My job, at this point, is to allow them to do so.

I was prepared to give a scathing review of last night’s penultimate episode. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, because I most certainly did. But — and there’s always a but — there were some things that just felt wrong to me. Maybe it’s because I’ve invested six years in the story. Maybe it’s because of preconceived expectations. The story seems smaller on many levels than it did a mere season ago. To be honest, it’s a practical mirror of Supernatural, boiling down to a feud between two brothers with the fate of the world hanging in the balance. Hell, Jacob was even there for both…

You know what? I’m going to let it go. I’m going to enjoy it for what it is, and what it is is the best show on television, maybe even of all time. Yes, it’s flawed, but then isn’t that the whole point of the series? Despite it’s flaws it can rise above them, find redemption, and <gulp> save the world?

So I’m not going to dissect “What They Died For”. Instead I’m going to hold off until Monday and view the endgame in its entirety, but before I go…

My favorite bit from last night?

Surprisingly enough it came from the flashsideways. Desmond’s epic jailbreak, springing Kate and Sayid with a little help from Anna Lucia and Hugo, had me grinning from ear to ear. Sure it was preposterous, but then I think it’s supposed to be.

A close second would be, and yes I know this is evil of me, seeing Zoe get iced like she did, and Widmore being sniped by Ben as well… that was especially satisfying and seeing Ben’s redemption song hit a sour note kind of fits in nicely with my finale endgame scenario…

My final theory?

We’ll discover that Jack’s Jacobing will have been merely to hold it until the true Island Protector shows up…

Flashsideways John Locke will cross over from the mirrorverse and throw down with FLocke. The Island will sink, killing everyone but Desmond who will reunite with Penny and Charlie and live happily everafter in an Islandless world.

In the elseworld, all our castaways will awaken, remembering their Island life and the sacrifices they made. Jack and Kate will be together, as will Sawyer and Juliet (who we’ll learn is Jack’s ex-wife and father to David).

The show will end in the sideways, with the Island rising up from the ocean and John Locke sitting on the beach. Ben will sit down next to him and say, “Do you know how badly I want to kill you?”

Sunday Night
The LOST Finale Event

It’s hard to believe it’s all almost over. Two and a half hours remain (minus the 50 minutes of commercial time that has been sold). Of course we have the two hour prequel recap show to look forward to and the Jimmy Kimmel: Aloha to LOST special immediately following the finale…

It’s been a marvelous ride and regardless of how it ends, it been quite an experience.

LOST in Translation: On Top of Ol’ Smokey

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , , on May 12, 2010 by cairnwood

What If…?

Something occurred to me. What if He Who Has No Name is not the Smoke Monster? Could it be that Jacob’s act of brothercide… he casting nameless bro into the Tunnel of Light… merely released the Smoke Monster — the dark force opposed to the divine light which all men possess a sliver of? Is every appearance of MIB after this incident merely the Smoke Monster wearing MIB’s form?

Were MIB and Jacob candidates — potential replacements to their Faux Mother’s role of Island Protector?

Was MIB the special one and Jacob merely the spare?

That revelation could do wonders to the bad feeling I got from this episode. That would make the ghost of Claudia Smokey in disguise. Smokey could have been whispering sweet nothings in MIB’s ear, initiating the creation of the frozen donkey wheel.

To what end? The extinguishing of the light, casting all the world in Smokey’s dark shadow.

Suddenly “Across the Sea” seems a little more epic in scope, especially if this is addressed and plays out as such.

It would fit with the mirror of Jacob’s and Island Mother’s welcomed demise and dances with the way in which Smokey seems to be able to download memories from the dead…

Food for thought as we march toward the final chapters of LOST.

LOST in Translation: Lost Boys

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , , , on May 12, 2010 by cairnwood

Season 6 / Episode 15
“Across the Sea”
written by Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse
directed by Tucker Gates

My initial gut reaction to last night’s mythos driven episode can be summed up in a single word: underwhelmed. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy “Across the Sea”, only that there were several factors that saw it fall somewhat short of my expectations. Granted, there were contributing factors, not the least of which was a house full of boys reenacting their own version of Lord of the Flies in my house. And speaking of boys, perhaps there was the problem. Child actors are asked to do a lot in Hollyweird, and the diminutive thespians  in last night’s teleplay were asked more than most, and they totally didn’t work for me. No depth. No passion. They looked the part but could not bear the weight of the mythology they were tasked to shoulder.

Beauty Has Her Way

“Every question I answer will simply lead to another question.
~Island Mother

We discover that Jacob and the Man in Black came to the Island in much the same manner as so many, presumably before and after. Their mother, heavy with child, was shipwrecked as both Rousseau and Claire would be in the far off future. She was discovered by a mysterious woman, obviously batshit from the onset, who nursed her to health and midwifed these Island Gods into the world. Doomed momma was shocked to learn she was carrying twins, having only chosen a single name for her baby to be — Jacob. No need to fret about naming number two, however, because crazy lady invokes the wrath of the rock and offers the boys’ mother up as a sacrifice to her own desired motherhood.

Island Mother instructs these foundlings in the ways of paranoia and a loathing of humanity. With a heavy hand she makes it quite clear that men “come to fight, destroy, corrupt, and it always end the same”. We’ve heard that line before.

It becomes clear that MIB is clearly more influenced by his Island Mother than is Jacob, who is a mousy mama’s boy, while MIB is a free-spirited rebel without a cause, at least until his ghost mother shows up and entices him to leave his faux mother in exchange for life with a community of castaways on the other side of the island…

Laying Down the Law

“…and that’s why they want it, because a little bit of this
very same light is inside of every man, but they always want more.”
~Island Mother

Before MIB’s exodus, Island Mother instructs the boys in the ways of the force, sharing with them the secret cave from which the heart of the island beats. She explains that it is the wellspring from which divinity shines and that a piece of it is in every living thing. Her job, and theirs, is to protect it from mankind because they are evil and corrupting.

Of course once MIB breaks ranks he becomes obsessed with discovering this wellspring and utilizing it to leave the island and return to the land of his mother, across the sea. He manipulates his newfound brethren into digging a well and gaining access to the mystical energy where he begins the construction of the frozen donkey wheel so he can harness the island’s power.

Crazy Island Mother can’t have this so she knocks MIB unconscious. When he wakes, the villagers are all dead and the well and his donkey wheel apparatus has been filled in with earth and stone.

How in the hell did she manage that one? I have a theory, which I’ll get to in a moment, but first…

Lost in the Shadows

“Don’t worry, brother, I’m not going to kill you.”

Enraged, the prodigal son returns to the caves and sneaks up behind Island Mother and stabs her through the heart. As she dies, she thanks him for releasing her. Jacob comes upon them and lies a beating on his brother, dragging him through the jungle to the mystical cave of eerie, golden light.

Their Island Mother warned them to never enter the cave, and for good reason it seems.

Jacob casts MIB into the Tunnel of Love and from hence the Smoke Monster is born. Jacob then takes his brother’s body and inters it in the cave beside their Mother… and thus the identities of “Adam and Eve” are revealed.

I Still Believe

What the — ??? Okay, not exactly what I envisioned, but it works on some level, I suppose. More answers were raised than were answered and I was left feeling like much of this story could have been interspersed with some Jack and Company action, but I guess the writers needed to get this out there, unfettered by the constraints of the current timeline. Unfortunately for me, it missed more than it hit, partly due to the vagueness of the script, but more so from acting that felt uninspired.

I can’t help but wonder if Island Mother was more Smoke Monster than Island Protector, that MIB and she were more alike than she and Jacob. MIB was the Chosen One, that much is clear. He was special and the Island spoke to him through his dead mother and through the inspired designs of the wheel.

Island Mother’s utter destruction of the survivor’s camp and the wheel well screams Smoke Monster to me. Surely she warned the boys away from entering the cave because she had made that mistake in the past and had become the very thing that MIB was destined to become as well.

Overall an underwhelming episode but one that will most likely play into events to come. My hope is that this episode will be strengthened by the final hours we have left and that in the overall context of the show its importance will be elevated.

Perhaps as I process this episode more my opinion will change.

Next Week on LOST:

“What They Died For” will see a return to the Island narrative that we are most invested in, with sideways jaunts that include guest spots by Rousseau and Alex, as well as a glimpse of Anna Lucia. This will be the final episode before the massive five and a half hour finale event on May 23. Three and a half hours remain and I am ready to see an end to the story. I have hope that everything will come together and this sneak peek from next week inspires confidence.

LOST in Translation: Time Passages

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , , on May 6, 2010 by cairnwood

Another Sneak Peek from “Across the Sea”

Interesting in that the director has carefully concealed the identity of the hunters. It begs the question… Why? Could these burly men, decked out in leather and tusk jewelry, be people we know? The LOST fan community is abuzz, resurrecting the ghost of Canton-Rainier and proclaiming that at least two of the boar hunters are previous incarnations of Jack and James. Hm, perhaps… one certainly never knows with LOST. Have our castaways been caught up in a cycle of death and rebirth, destined to return again and again to this island?

I hear tell that next week there will be a scene revisited that will lead us to realize that the creators knew all along where their story was headed. Maybe. Though it’s also possible that it’s a simple matter of reverse engineering. I guess we’ll have to wait and see the scene in question to judge for ourselves.

LOST in Translation: Don’t Fear the Reaper, Part II

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , , on May 5, 2010 by cairnwood

What’s up, Chuck?

All right… The Man in Black, aka Smokey, aka FLocke, has made his move… attempting to kill all the candidates in one fell swoop by shepherding them onto Widmore’s sub and having it go BOOM! What to think of Charles’ role in all of this?

I’m led back to a previous scene between Bram and Miles. You remember, our sharp-tongued ghost whisperer was walking along the street in LA when he got shanghaied into a perv van by the now deceased Bram prior to Señor Straume’s journey into darkness on board the Kahana freighter.

Bram, we would come to learn, was working with Ilana as part of a “crack team” of Jacob Protectors (how’d that work out, Jacob ol’ boy?). Anyway, Bram told Miles that he wasn’t ready to go to the Island, that by joining Widmore’s crew he was on “the wrong side”.

So if Bram was on Team Jacob and Miles was on the wrong side, being Team Widmore, does this also mean that Team Widmore is equivalent to Team Smokey?

And then there was this exchange between John Locke and our man Chuck:

LOCKE: Why would you help me?

WIDMORE: Because there’s a war coming, John. And if you’re not back on the Island when that happens, the wrong side is going to win.

Well we all know what happened when Locke returned to the Island… his image was claimed by the Man in Black, setting up the events we’re now faced with.

But never mind that, let’s look to last night’s taking of the sub. I mean, really, could any of that have gone down without Widmore’s collusion? No, I don’t think so. Chuck’s goons laid in wait until the castaways were primed to descend into the sub. They shot Kate, wounding her, and propelling Jack into action. Jack would never have gotten on that submarine if not for her injury… Not to mention the whole bomb on the plane thing to begin with. The sonic fence was removed so that Smokey could waltz in there. Smokey obviously knew about the explosives on the plane because he took the guy’s watch before going aboard.

It makes all the sense in the world to me that Charles Widmore has been in on the Man in Black’s long con from the start.

Now we’ll just have to sit back and see how things shake out.


LOST in Translation: Don’t Fear the Reaper

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , , , on May 5, 2010 by cairnwood

Season 6 / Episode 14
The Candidate
written by Elizabeth Sarnoff and Jim Galasso
directed by Jack Bender

Damn. One of the best things about LOST is that it can be all things to all people. It’s got action, suspense, romance, horror… pretty much every genre under the moon and stars. And it’s racing toward the end. Last night’s brilliant episode, The Candidate, was what… 10 minutes long? It sure felt like it. Jack Bender was relentless in moving the story along, never letting you catch your breath… that is until the end, when pain and loss was visited to the story in such a masterful way that even now, nearly twelve hours later, I can still feel it like a kick to the stomach by some steel toed Doc Marten’s.


“No. I won’t leave you.”
~ Jin to Sun

We’ve lost characters before. Actually, the body count has been pretty high on this show, but last night brought it all home as we said goodbye to four near and dear to us. First to go was Sayid, sacrificing himself to try and save his fellow castaways, and, perhaps to save himself by seeking redemption through one final selfless act. Before he left us, our favorite Iraqi torturer imparted to Jack that Desmond was very much alive and trapped in a hole somewhere on the island… and that FLocke wanted him very dead. Like Ilana before him, we saw Sayid evaporate in a cloud of bombastic finality. But unlike the Russian beauty, Sayid Jarrah died a noble and heroic death. A fitting end to a terrific character.

Next on the chopping block was Frank Lapidus, whose dry wit and cool demeanor were always welcome. I would have preferred to see Frank go out guns blazing, but it was not meant to be.

And that brings us to Jin and Sun. You saw it coming. These two star-crossed lovers, separated for so long, were given mere hours together before death came calling. With his beloved trapped on the sinking sub, Jin could not… would not… leave Sun’s side. Jack Bender’s beautifully framed shot of their hands together underwater, slowly drifting apart was poignant and heartbreaking.

But what about Ji Yeon? My wife turned to me and made me promise that if we were ever in a similar situation that I would choose to live for the sake of our son, and I have to agree. While their tragic end was beautiful and moving, it also smacks of a selfishness reminiscent of Sun leaving their child in the first place to return to the Island to search for her time traveling husband.

My wife and I love each other very much, but our child trumps our devotion to one another. We would both die for him, and ultimately we would live for him as well.

Burning for You

“I’m going to finish what I started.”
~ FLocke to Claire

So I guess that puts an end to the debate as to whether or not the Smoke Monster is evil. Not that there was ever any real reason to debate the issue. It was a hard sell, Smokey’s benevolence. Oh, the writers gave it their best shot. He said all the right things. He was full of smooth talking justifications, but his actions spoke far louder than his words.

That doesn’t let Jacob off the hook. I’m not sure I’d paint either of them with a single brush, but let’s be clear. The Man in Black is a bad “man” capable of bad things. He can transform into a column of ass kicking black smoke for gods’ sake. He’s a master of lies and manipulation. And he wants the candidates dead so that he can be free.

Season Six has been one long con perpetuated by the Monster.

So long as a single candidate lives and breathes Smokey is trapped on the Island. Unfortunately for him, there are rules and those rules state that he can’t kill them. But he sure as hell can get others to do it for him.

Now, only three remain: Jack, Sawyer, and Hurley. Or, is someone else pulling a long con of their own?

Veteran of the Psychic Wars

“You saved John’s life. Why can’t that be enough?”
~ Helen to Jack

Over in the elseworld Jack is putting the pieces together. The “coincidences” are piling up as he’s been led from one passenger on Flight 815 to another. He and John Locke are linked by their fear of letting go. John can’t allow himself to be healed because of the weight of his guilt over the plane crash that left him a cripple and his father a vegetable. Jack’s tethered by his incessant need to fix things. Together, these two men will have to come together to form a whole and complete persona… this man of faith and man of science, hearkening back to their Island conflict.

Jack said to John that he believed he was a “candidate”. Weighted words. Is this Jacob’s long con? Can John Locke somehow still be the Island candidate, ready to assume the role that Jacob meant for him? No, I don’t think so. There was a time when I did, but I now think that John is a weapon to use against the Man in Black. Elseworld John’s healing will allow him to connect with FLocke at a crucial moment in the very near future, at a time when Jack and Smokey are battling for Island Supremacy. The internal conflict between Locke and FLocke will give Jack the moment he needs to end Smokey’s bid for exodus.

As you can see, I’m already thinking of Jack as the Candidate, Jacob’s successor, but Jacob might have another ace or two in the hole. For one, there’s Kate. Crossed out on the cave wall but not at the Lighthouse, was Smokey tricked into believing she was unimportant to pull the wool over the Locke Ness Monster’s eyes? And what about Ben? Could he have been poked and prodded down redemption’s road so that he would be a worthy candidate in the end?

No, I think they’re both red herrings, left for us to ponder before Jack’s ascension. And with only three episodes left, we’ve not long to wait to get our final answer… Oddly enough, last night I had a dream. In it, I was with Jack and we were walking through the Children’s Museum in Indianapolis. It was the Tutankhamen Exhibit. Kate was there, hovering in the shadows of an obelisk covered in hieroglyphics, watching as Jack and I approached a group of young children. My son was there and Jack stepped toward him. Sheppard turned to me and smiled as he raised his hand to pat Connor on the head, but he stopped and instead reached out to a young Korean girl, slowly caressing her cheek. Ji Yeon?

The cycle continues…

Next Week on LOST:

We’ve so much to look forward to in the coming weeks. First, let’s take a brief look into next week’s episode, “Across the Sea”. Here are the trailer and a sneak peek into what appears to be a teleplay sans our favorite castaways, instead focusing on Jacob and the Man in Black. At long last… their backstory. This is going to be truly epic —

In other news, there is some exciting news concerning the LOST Finale Event on May 23rd. The Final episode has been extended thirty minutes. So, here’s what we’re looking at:

LOST: The Final Journey
7 – 9

LOST: Episode 17
“The End”
9 – 11:30

Jimmy Kimmel Live
“Aloha to LOST”
11:30 – 12:30

A fitting way to end an epic series…


LOST in Translation: Golden Ticket

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , on April 20, 2010 by cairnwood

Tonight on LOST

There’s no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going…
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing…
And they’re certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!

~Willy Wonka

Enjoy this episode tonight, Lost Fans, because next week’s a repeat.

I’ve a feeling that “The Last Recruit” will carry us through the
rough waters ahead until we reach “The Candidate”.

My prediction for tonight’s action?

Jack will be recruited to Team Smokey.

Sayid will  play Judas to FLocke’s Anti-Christ.

In the flashsideways, our Not Losties will all
come together… right now…

And Desmond… well, Des is going to work some magic
on both sides of the mirror.

Tune in tomorrow for my recap and recriminations.

LOST in Translation: Pale Horse

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , , on April 14, 2010 by cairnwood

And speaking of blowing stuff up, unfortunately this was an episode also marred with death. And even more unfortunate, it’s not going to be the last in this final season. As we approach the end, so begins the “housecleaning.” –Jorge Garcia

Housecleaning… yep, I’ve been expecting this for some time. At the end of Season 5 I had predicted that Jughead would be used and that all of our Lost friends would be killed setting up a reincarnation of sorts in the here and now. You can refresh your memory by examining my posts here and here. Boy, was I wrong.

So here we are, on the verge of the series finale. Only six hours remain, three of which being the finale itself. Time then to break out the hankies and a fresh supply of body bags.

If you haven’t yet, you may want to read my recap for last night’s episode before continuing.

Caught up? Okay good. Let’s move on then…

We’ve said goodbye (sort of) to a lot of old friends. Mars. Boone. Shannon. Eko. Artz. Libby. Anna Lucia. Charlie. Michael. Charlotte. Daniel. Alex. Rousseau. Nikki & Paolo. Frogurt. Bram. Caesar. Dogen. Lennon. Oh, and John Locke, not to mention various red shirts, Others, and Dharma folk ad nauseum. Of course there was also the big Island kahuna, Jacob. And now Ilana.

We’ve reached the point where some of our favorite characters are going to be crossing over into the great beyond, or perhaps becoming whispers in the jungle like the artist formerly known as Kevin Johnson.

Or will they simply cross over to the flashsideways?

Who knows what the LOST writers have in store?

One thing I do know for sure is that people are going to be dropping like flies in the coming weeks and we’ll all shed some tears when they do. Hell, I fully expect there to be one person left standing at the end… Jacob’s Candidate.

So, I’ll put it out there.

If you could choose one character to survive it all and live out their existence on the Island, who would you pick?

Me, I’m going with Hurley if for no other reason than because he’d never be alone and all his departed friends can come chat with him (or yell at him as they seem wont to do, according to Hugo) at their eternal leisure.

How about you?

LOST in Translation: BOOM!

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , , , on April 14, 2010 by cairnwood

Season 6 / Episode 12
Everybody Loves Hugo
written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz
directed by Daniel Attias

I didn’t think that LOST would be able to top last week’s “Happily Ever After”, but the more I think about it, “Everybody Loves Hugo” just might have done it. Was it letter perfect? No, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t punch you in the gut time and time again. “ELH” was whiplash inducing craziness… and I loved every gobsmacking bit of it.


“The Island was done with her. Makes me wonder what’s
gonna happen when it’s done with us.” ~Ben

Please join me in a moment of silence as we bid farewell to Ilana, who we barely got to know at all aside from being led to believe she was some kind of Wonder Woman – Island Protector Goddess… tapped by Jacob to gather his candidates and mother hen them. In the end she was Doc Artz and Ilana went BOOM!

In fact, I turned to my wife, jaw hanging open in mirror of her own, and I said, “Oh my gods, they Artz-ed her!”

Do I think we’re done with Ilana? I hope not. I kind of have a soft spot for her (and the actress, who I thoroughly enjoyed in the short lived “Lone Gunmen” series). Luckily for us, being dead on LOST does not mean we’ve seen the last of you. Maybe Hugo and our Russian beauty will get a chance to chat somewhere down the road…

And while we’re on the subject of explosions, might we also bow our heads and wish godspeed to the Black Rock, which Hugo decided to send into the great hereafter.

<sniff> I’ll miss that ol’ statue-smashing, dynamite-holding, uber-island-icon of all things piratey and cool. <sniff>

Anyway, speaking of Hugo…


“You don’t remember me, do you?” ~Libby

You know, it’s true… everybody does love Hugo. And why not, there’s a lot to love about the big ol’ lug. Soft spoken, sweet, and desperately in need of a hug, Hurley is more often than not played for comic relief, but you know what… Jorge Garcia’s got some acting chops and he put them on display in last night’s episode.

“ELH” brought us the return of Michael, albeit as one of the whispering dead. Michael came along for the ride to prod Hugo into action, to check off one of the “pressing” island mysteries (the whispers are the voices of folk who have kicked it and are unable to move on), and to give this troubled soul a chance to apologize for deep sixing Libby.

As fans, we’ve waited a long time to get some more Libby action. Of course what we really wanted was some resolution to the mystery surrounding her stay in Santa Clara, and while Santa Clara indeed reared its ugly head, it was in the flashsideways where she’s had herself committed because of her glimpse into an island life with the world’s richest fried chicken mogul.

Hm, Charlie sees Claire… Desmond sees Penny… Libby sees Hugo… I’m detecting a theme here. Soulmates? It’s all about coupling for our Lost writers. Locke and Helen, Charles and Eloise… even Daniel and Charlotte are sniffing around each other. It’s just a matter of time before Sawyer and Juliet are reunited. Does that leave Jack and Kate as a potential hook-up? Skaters are squirming in their seats.

But back to Hugo… It’s nice to see Hurley stepping up and taking a leadership role, and even nicer to see Jack and the other candidates deferring to his lead. Granted, Hurley tried the old “Jacob told me so” con, but Jack saw through his bluff but went along anyway.

I think Hurley will be playing an even bigger role in episodes to come which is welcome news. More Jorge is always good. And now that his elseworlds version has been awakened by a kiss from his dead island girlfriend, it will be interesting to see what shakes out on that side of the multi-verse.

Speaking of, Desmond’s getting his freak on… playing creepy stalker dude and setting something up on both sides of the mirror.


“What’s the point in being afraid?” ~Desmond

Let’s see. “Everybody Loves Hugo” had three really huge whiplash moments. The first was Ilana doing her rendition of Boom goes the Dynamite. What was the second one? Oh yeah — SMOKEY TOSSED DESMOND INTO A WELL.

Sorry about your luck, brotha.

Seeing Des and FLocke together was more than cool, with each affecting a zen-like swagger as they played a game of mental chess. There was some great dialogue there as the Flockeness Monster pumped Des for intel and spilled the proverbial magic beans about the crazy island properties and those telluric hot spots of compass-confusing EMF anomalies that are all over the freaking place.

Flocke was confused by Des’ utter lack of fear considering he was in the presence of his almighty Smokiness, but our favorite Scotsman’s seen the best — and worst — of both worlds and he’s not scared of anything… except maybe a one way ticket to Flocke’s version of a wellness center.

Have a nice trip, mate. Hope you enjoy your stay.

Oh but wait, I failed to mention the boy in the jungle. You know, the dark haired lad, grinning like a hyena… that, like Sawyer spying the earlier blonde version, Des saw with his own two eyes. Flocke said ignore him, but you know we can’t.

Dark hair. Old school threads. Young MIB? And that would make the blonde version young Jacob? Or maybe not. FLocke has stated that Jacob stole his body and his humanity. Is it possible that the blonde boy is, in fact, MIB and that the dark boy, a young Jacob, switched bodies leaving MIB’s spirit to assume smokey-form?

I guess we’ll find out in a couple of weeks, but for now…


“Ever since Juliet died…ever since I got her killed…
all I’ve wanted was to fix it. But I can’t. I can’t ever fix it.
You have no idea how hard it is for me to sit back and listen
to other people tell me what I should do. But I think maybe
that’s the point. Maybe I’m supposed to let go.” ~Jack

Everyone’s got a mission. Hurley and the Candidates are hooking up with Flocke and Company. Richard, Ben, and Miles became the Three Amigos and said no thanks, opting instead to make for Hydra Island to disable the Ajira plane (and, I’d bet money that they’ll have a little run-in with our time-flashing dugout crew and one of them will get capped by Juliet).

And Desmond… well he’s all about bringing folks together. He nudged Hurley and Libby together over in the mirrorverse, then took a trip back to school where he was confronted by OtherBen. Sideways Linus knows a creepy stalker dude when he sees one, but he was leaning toward the sexual predator-type, not the RUN DOWN FREAKING JOHN LOCKE IN A WHEELCHAIR-type.

And we have our hat trick, ladies and gentlemen. What, were they having a three for one sale at the shocking developments for writers workshop?

It’s all good though. We get it. It’s just Des’ way of bringing everyone together, man. See, Locke’s going to get carted off to the hospital where he’ll be saved by Dr. Jack Shephard. I’m sure Juliet will be there too, saving Sun and her unborn child. Hell, I’ll bet Sawyer shows up to investigate the shooting or the hit and run, and while we’re at it, maybe Kate’ll be there for a pre-prison physical. Claire could be getting her own prenatal check-up and Sayid could be visiting his brother. Thank gods there’s only one hospital in all of Los Angeles.

See, it’s all coming together, folks… and it’s a wonderful thing, chock full of that maddening goodness that makes LOST what it is: a crazy-ass roller coaster thrill ride of mindbending, soul-twisting proportions.


The Last Recruit promises more of the same. They’re teasing us with the promotional tagline “The Time is Now” and I couldn’t agree more. Each episode has furthered the story and we’re now getting down to the nitty gritty. Hell, just look at this freaking trailer:

I’ve got goosebumps. With only 6 hours left, the endgame is taking shape and I’m thrilled thus far. This epic journey has been worth every last moment (Stranger in a Strange Land notwithstanding)…

LOST in Translation: What is Life?

Posted in Genre Movies & TV, LOST with tags , , , , on April 7, 2010 by cairnwood

Season 6 / Episode 11
“Happily Ever After”
written by Damon Lindlof & Carlton Cuse
directed by Jack Bender

Television just doesn’t get better than that, now does it? In a season that has been confusing to date, it seems like the pieces are really starting to come together, and who better to be the Rosetta Stone to LOST than Desmond Hume? We’ve waited a long time for Desmond’s return, and last night he returned not with a whimper, but with a big bang… So big, in fact, that it shook the very foundations of the LOST narrative and gave us a glimpse of what is to come…


“I know how this looks, Desmond, but if everything
I’ve heard about you is true, then you’ll be fine.”
~Charles Widmore

It has long been established that the “rules” don’t apply to Desmond. He’s a special bloke, able to shift his consciousness through time and space due to the after effects of being at ground zero when John Locke got it in his head that they were not supposed to push the button. Desmond Hume became Doctor Manhattan, in a sense, taking us along on his wild, time-shifting ride through his Penny-loving, Charlie-saving Magical Mystery Tour.

So, of course, when Charles Widmore decides to assault the Island, what better weapon to have in his arsenal than his “through with the Island” son-in-law? Not something Des was too happy about, but then Chuck has a way of getting what he wants.

And Charles knows more than he’s telling. How he knows this, I’m not sure, but he has his team of mad scientists construct a particle accelerating flux capaciting thing-a-ma-bob, tosses Wonder Des into the temporal maelstrom, and hopes for the best.

And what we get is the best of both worlds and the shape of things to come…


“I’ve seen something real. I’ve seen the truth.”
~Charlie Pace

Did anyone not think that Desmond was given a cheap day return ticket to the flash-sideways when he got locked into Widmore’s deus ex machina?

I may have seen it coming, but I didn’t care, it was still bloody marvelous.

Sideways Des is a fixer — Charles Widmore’s go-to man-of-action. So what’s Des got to fix for the man sitting in an office decorated with a painting of a scale balancing a white and black rock? Our favorite Scotsman is tasked with delivering a suicidal rock star to a gala event being put together by Mrs. W in which their son, a brilliant classical pianist, is looking to merge his bombastic musical genius with that of DriveShaft, who in their sideways’ reimagining are less a one hit wonder and more like Led Zeppelin-esque thunder gods of rock and roll.

Of course Elseworld Charlie wants none of it and Desmond is once again, in a mirror of their other life relationship, i.e. trying to keep this drug addled bass player alive. This is the furthest thing from Charlie Pace’s desires, however, because you see, he had a near death experience, and in this glimpse of another life he saw perfection in the face of an angel named Claire and he knew that this world was not for him… that it was all a bitter lie.

And this was something that he just knew Des needed to experience for himself, so he deep sixed the car they were driving in, turning it into a submarine with a one way ticket to the bottom of the harbor. As Desmond desperately tried to save his charge, all it took was for Charlie to place his hand on the car window, palm out, to wake Desmond up.


Damn it. Now that was some riveting storytelling. We were treated to a parade of images of Des and Penny’s life in the real world and Mr. Hume was sent spinning into a grim realization, that all of this what not what it seemed.

Who was this woman of his dreams? Who was this Penny?

An epic confrontation with Eloise Hawking, er I mean Widmore would further muddle our brave hero, especially once he overheard Penny’s name on the guest list. Demanding to see the list raised Eloise’s ire and as she dressed down Desmond we were treated to one of the biggest puzzles yet as to the nature of the flash-sideways. More on this in a moment, but first, on a side note: I did take notice that Penny’s surname in the flash-sideways was Milton. An allusion to John Milton and Paradise Lost perhaps, which leads me to ponder this little bit I culled from Lit class:

“A mind not to be changed by place or time.
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a heav’n of hell, a hell of heav’n.”

And that, in turn, leads me down another road… one not of fluffy Dharma bunnies and “All You Need is Love” sentimentality. No, this road belongs to the Dark Man, i.e. the Man in Black.


“Someone has clearly affected the way you see things.
This is a serious problem. It is, in fact, a violation.”
~Eloise Widmore

Gods bless, Eloise and Daniel. They are great at connecting the dots for us, even if they do so from opposite ends of the spectrum, each side equally esoteric. And now it’s time for me to speculate on this madness.

It seems to me, through the implications raised by Mother and Son Widmore, that the flash-sideways is indeed a construct… a construct, I believe, of the Man in Black’s.

How does Smokey recruit people to his side of the Force? By offering them what they want most. The flash-sideways is how he delivers on his promise.

Eloise alluded to Desmond’s desire for Charles’ approval. She got her son alive and well, while Daniel is fulfilling his dream of playing music (across the street from Charlotte no less). Locke got his Helen. Kate, her innocence. Jack gets to be a good dad.

Well, kids, their “Happily Ever After” is a trap. It’s a prison. It’s a diversion to keep them from fulfilling their destiny.

The flash-sideways is all SMOKE & MIRRORS.

How do our heroes break out of their Smokey cell?

Love… and sacrifice.

But, it seems, some people are more than happy to stay in their world of make-believe (I’m looking at you, Eloise)… the thing is, Mrs. Widmore alluded to a “violation” which means there are rules to this little game (aren’t there always), and I wonder if maybe our castaways have entered this prison somewhat in collusion with His Infernal Smokiness and Desmond needs to wake them back up, shake some sense into them, and set them back on the proper course of their destiny?

Back on the Island, Desmond gets it and joins Charles’ Army willingly — happily, in fact, though there seems to be an odd sort of calm about him, like one who’s been converted. I see just a hint of zealotry in those eyes. He’s seen the truth, the ghost in the machine…  And then along comes Sayid doing what Sayid does best. “Run”, he says to Zoe, and she does. But not Desmond. Standing stoically, channeling David Carradine’s Caine, he departs with the our soulless Iraqi, presumably into the fold of Camp Smokesalot.

R’uh R’oh, Raggy.

A LATE HOUR ADDITION: Sitting here at work, mulling over the episode and flashing through selected scenes via Hulu, I had an epiphany. Okay, maybe not exactly an epiphany, but certainly a querying musing.

Anyway, I wondered if the flash-sideways was a nod to The Last Temptation of Christ. What, you’ve not seen the Scorsese helmed DeFoe/Hershey/Keitel epic about the Savior in all its cinematic splendour? You must remedy that at once, true believers.

To sum up, JC gets a little flash-sideways of his own while hanging on the cross in which he settles down with Mary Magdalene, has some kids, and generally has a nice little life sans theological drama.

As his former Holiness prepares to kick the proverbial bucket, Jesus’ former disciples come to him on his deathbed while, in the background, Jerusalem is a burning ruin. Judas is the last to saunter up to the former Messiah and rather than show respect or reverence instead rightly calls Jesus a traitor.

It is then revealed that the angel who freed Christ from his date with the crucifixion was actually Lucifer, playing the ultimate temptation card. Jesus realizes his mistake, forsakes his flash-sideways, and  crawls through the burning city to beg God to let him fulfill his special purpose (and no I’m not talking about the Steve Martin version of the term). JC is placed back on the Tree of Woe, erasing the temptation of a blissful family life and the shirking of his destined path, thereby saving the world through his sacrifice.

Methinks I’m onto something and I’m laying odds on a similar outcome for our fine feathered friends in the LOSTverse. C’mon, you didn’t think those Last Supper promo pictures were for nothing, did ya?

Next Week on LOST:

Mr. Reyes gets his moment in the sun as we are treated to the twelfth episode of Season 6,  “Everybody Loves Hugo”. What can we expect from our lovably huggable  Hurley? A whole lot of Ghost Whispering and some deeper insights into the Smokeyverse I’m guessing.

Addendum: For those curious, last week’s chapter breaks came courtesy of the Dolly Parton songbook. This week I dipped into George Harrison.


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